Ask the Mrs: How to be a Good Wife

I received my very first write in question on this blog! Before I answer,I just want to say thank you to all of my followers, and that I deeply appreciate the support I’ve received on this blog.

Now, let’s get right into it.

Name: Sara

Question: I’m writing today, because I was hoping for some advice. You see, I’m getting married next month, and I was wondering what advice you have for a bride to be a good wife? I want to do the very best I can for my groom, and I don’t want to let him down. If it matters at all I’m currently working part time, but want to make homemaking and my marriage my priority.
Thank you,
Sara

Thank you, Sara, for writing in with your question, and congratulations on your wedding! I absolutely understand that feeling of wondering how you can do your best as a new wife. It can be a little intimidating, taking on the new responsibility of marriage, but don’t worry!

What it takes to be a good wife is going to be pretty much the same, regardless of if you work 40+ hours a week, or work strictly in the home. Your workload and responsibilities will vary depending on if you’re a full time homemaker, or if you work outside the home, but what it takes to be a good wife stay the same.

  1. Listen. And I mean learn to really listen, not just to take turns talking. You can’t know what’s going on, understand what’s bothering your spouse, fully understand their joy, or address concerns if you aren’t listening to what they’re saying. Actively listening to your spouse also shows that you care.
  2. Communicate clearly, even if that means you need to take the time to collect yourself. Being able to express your own needs and emotions clearly is just as important as listening and understanding your spouses needs and emotions. They can’t address what you need, if you don’t know how to tell them what you need. If you’re upset and emotional about something, there’s nothing wrong with saying “I need to collect myself and my thoughts in order to talk about this.”
  3. Be honest. Be honest. Be honest. Think of a time you felt betrayed because someone you trusted lied or deliberately kept something from you. Your trust for then was never the same, was it? Be honest with your spouse, any problems can’t be solved unless you share them.
  4. Do nice things for your spouse, and do them regularly. It’s not a bad idea to set up regular date nights, or to make a habit of every first Saturday you’re going to have breakfast in bed together, or other nice gestures. It’s easy to do sweet things for each other when everything is new and you’re both excited, make a habit of being sweet to each other though.
  5. Put each other first. Don’t forsake friends and other family, work, hobbies, or interests, but also don’t ever hesitate to say that you’d rather be with your spouse, or to make decisions with your spouse in mind.
  6. Don’t speak poorly about your spouse. Don’t let others do so either. It can breed resentment where there isn’t any of you always speak ill of your spouse to others, or are constantly listening to everyone tell you what’s wrong with your spouse. Chances are, you know what your spouses flaws are. If it’s something that actually bothers you, refer back to point number 2, and talk to them about it. It’s okay to seek advice occasionally, but most things can be addressed beat by talking and listening to each other.

That’s really all that’s at the core of being a good wife or husband. Just remember, you’re marrying each other because you love and respect one another, and because you want to build a life together. Don’t ever stop building that life, or respecting each other, and you’ll be just fine!

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3 thoughts on “Ask the Mrs: How to be a Good Wife

Add yours

  1. Great advice. I’m always talking about these very same things- the need for communication, for the constant commitment to the commitment you made (and to the person)… the need for trust, and open (and honest) communication, etc.

    The only thing I disagree with is people telling you never to “talk bad” about your spouse. That being said, my issue with that advice has more to do with the fact that people who say that usually believe you should never say any negative thing ever to anyone (friend or husband alike). And what they consider negative is so broad as to qualify as pretty much anything that isn’t injecting rainbows and sunshine straight up his rear 24 / 7… Which, if I’m honest, is just as unhealthy as constantly badgering and complaining about him.

    Iit’s ok to air grievances about your spouse, or to be unhappy with them or the things they do… The important part is how you do it- and who you’re doing it to; Close friends and your spouse are ok. Anyone within earshot who’ll listen are not. And respect and compassion is always key.

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    1. I completely agree! Talking to your spouse with kindness and understanding to address any grievances you have is very, very different from telling your nail technician, your sister, your grocer, and Susan at the desk next to you about how he leaves his socks on the bathroom counter or joking about how he wouldn’t know how to get dressed without your help.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It really is. And granted, I’ve been known to talk about that kind of stuff on my blog- but it’s always AFTER my Husband and I have taken care of it on our own, and it’s always with his permission, and I always offer to let him proofread the posts to ensure he’s happy with how I’ve talked about it. And I think that’s how it should be done.

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